For most people, sexual intercourse is an important aspect of married life.
So, when a woman’s husband seems disinterested in having sex, some may see it as a red flag or a warning sign that he no longer finds the wife attractive or is maybe even cheating on her.
However, while there is a chance that this is the case, there is likely a far more personal reason that there is less sex in your marriage.
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According to sex expert Tracey Cox, the reasons why men may stop having sex with their wives are often associated with five key factors that many women likely don’t expect.
Trouble getting an erection
The most prevalent reason that married men might not be having as much sex with their wives is a matter of erection-related difficulties. While this is especially the case for older men, struggling to cultivate and maintain an erection can happen to men of any age and can greatly damage their self-confidence in the bedroom.
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Unsurprisingly, this blast to a man’s confidence and abilities leads to a disinterest in having sex of any kind. However, even if it’s not a matter of erectile inability, a married man’s self-esteem may also be the reason for a sexless marriage.
Feeling unattractive
The second factor on Cox’s list is that a man may not feel attractive, which negatively impacts his desire to engage in the physically intimate act. While oftentimes not focused on as much as the plight of their feminine counterparts, men are very likely to suffer from these body image issues, making this a common reason for a reduced amount of sex within marriages.
Mental health reasons
Similarly to these first two reasons, a man who is stressed or depressed on a long-term basis is less likely to have routine intercourse with their partner, says Cox. Beyond just those mental struggles impacting their desire to have sex, the result of treating them, be it anti-depressants or vices such as alcohol, can also negatively impact their sex drive.
Uninterested in sex
Another common factor is, quite simply, that he might just not want to. Men can have a naturally low sex drive, especially several years into a relationship and after having children. Typically, this has very little to do with the man’s wife or his attraction to her but rather with his sex drive being lower than one might expect.
Past trauma
Lastly, a married man might not be initiating sexual intercourse with their wife due to what they believe is courtesy and politeness.
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Usually stemming from a subconsciously negative perception of sex, which can occur in childhood, a man may actively avoid sexual intercourse even when it is fully welcomed by their significant other. Cox says this could come from having a parent who cheated when you were younger and seeing the act of sex as something that gets you into trouble.
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Mental Health, Health